Teen Mom Recap: "Here for Boobs"

Some other Teen Mom boobs saw the spotlight in tonight's episode: Maci's baby daddy, Ryan Edwards, for example. And although Ryan is paying child support (from his unemployment check, yo), he had a lot of nerve asking if Maci's employed, independent boyfriend Kyle is "slow"...from his mommy's porch. Where the 22-year-old father of Bentley lives,

Some other Teen Mom boobs saw the spotlight in tonight's episode: Maci's baby daddy, Ryan Edwards, for example. And although Ryan is paying child support (from his unemployment check, yo), he had a lot of nerve asking if Maci's employed, independent boyfriend Kyle is "slow"...from his mommy's porch. Where the 22-year-old father of Bentley lives, rent free.

Trying not to be a boob is Tyler Baltierra—Catelynn's baby daddy/fiancé/stepbrother—who calls himself a "loser" because he's "18 years old living at [his] mom's house. I don't even do my own laundry."

Both Tyler and Catelynn are ready to make a big change—so where's the plastic surgeon? Hold up: Instead of going under the knife, Carly's sensible birth parents are planning to get an apartment together. While we hate to see Tyler leave the nest, Catelynn's escape from her mullet-lovin' mama can't happen soon enough. Rent and utilities are expensive, sure, but seeing as how these kids aren't going to be cruising the college campus anytime soon (What? You saw their report cards), maybe they can borrow a little from their Jezebel college fund?

A high school degree, sadly, is the least of Amber's worries this season. Her segments are almost unwatchable for two reasons: (1) knowing she's in rehab now after an alleged suicide attempt and (2) Gary Shirley. What is the appeal? If Amber doesn't reciprocate cute Chris' love, then can't she at least find someone who is, say, cute? Debate is pointless—we know how this story ends: The pig stays in the picture. Meanwhile we have to suffer through Amber's arrest, separation from her daughter, Leah, more violence—and more Gary.

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