Private livesLife and styleShe is best friends with some of them, stays in the family home for extended visits and joins them at Christmas. My husband thinks this is normal
My husband divorced his first wife 20 years ago. They have one child, with whom he has a difficult relationship. I am a relatively recent addition to the family and was not entangled in his messy breakup. His ex-wife is best friends with some family members, who, out of loyalty, cannot fully embrace me. She is still included in family emails, her birthday is acknowledged, gifts are exchanged, she stays in the family home when she visits (sometimes for several weeks) and joins the family for Christmas. They sometimes mix us up and call me by her name.
The first wife has spoken ill of me and my husband. Even though I am financially independent with my own assets, and we have a pre-nup, the ex and child fear my grabbing his inheritance. He thinks it normal for families to include ex-partners to this extent and feels I ought to accept it.
This is my second marriage too, and while I keep in touch with my ex-husband’s family, I restrict contact to sending good wishes at Christmas and on special birthdays. I accept that I am not part of that family any more, even though my own child is. I have never discussed matters of inheritance with my ex or tried to influence his will for my child. I cannot accept what seems like an unusual status quo in my husband’s family. I feel excluded and disrespected. Am I being unreasonable?
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